”His Good Graces”

June 30, 2020September 25, 2020 / Carla M. Burzyk / Leave a comment

Are there “bad” graces? I understand there are bad sides, temperaments, natures, but not graces. Grace is a beautiful word, in the singular or plural. I like to think of grace as an intensely wise and serene humility. A balanced equanimity that keeps one hovering in the middle; not too high above nor too far below the norm. Appreciating all for all’s sake, not for an ego’s hunger to be fed. When I hear the word “grace” I envisionBotticelli’s work: “Primavera”, and the Three Graces within it.

The three Graces are sisters, dancing together and named for Pleasure, Chastity and Beauty. When I visualize the Three Graces, I see women bathed in a surreal light, dancing in the arms of one another, clothed (barely) in diaphanous gowns. It’s a calming image for me and one that recalls Florence / Firenze and the first time I saw the work in the Uffizi. Breathtaking, beautiful, colorful and his good Graces dancing in the Springtime between Mars (March) blowing away the clouds of winter, and Venus (April) hearkening the light and rebirth of Spring.

I love seasonal change and feel most alive at the start of a new season. I love pondering the weather that it will bring and the changes that can or cannot be imagined. It’s challenging to see seasonal change in Texas. I’ve lived here for six years, but the subtlety of seasonal change here is is almost invisible.

The year kind of unfolds slowly and being outside doesn’t help determine if it’s Spring or Fall. Summer is easy: think three digit temperatures. There is no Winter. I have to work harder at figuring it out, if I was interested in figuring it out. I’m not.

I’d rather dance with the good Graces, without caring about anything more than dancing. Maybe this is graceful wisdom: to know that dancing is sometimes the only way to break the earthly bonds that tie us to too much detritus, and instead let us move with nature and our souls to experience a higher state of mind. Dancing with the Graces, moving to invisible music, watching the seasons proceed and proceed again.

gracwes

Humor and Wisdom

April 9, 2020April 9, 2020 / Carla M. Burzyk / Leave a comment

You don’t now what you’ve till it’s gone…or, absence makes the heart grow fonder…or you never know what you had until it’s taken away. These adages are rooted in wisdom and experience. They’re especially true regarding humor. A sense, or gift or appreciation of humor is priceless. It relieves tension, breaks the ice and encourages participation in otherwise unequal social settings. Humor carries with it descriptive monikers like “dry wit”, ‘biting”, “generous” and “quick-witted”.

It’s a universal language for me and when I encounter people without a sense of it, I’m at a loss with respect to how to relate to them. A person without a sense of humor self-identifies as one with no appreciation for the sense of humor, and they paint themselves in drab colors and they back away from the center of social interactions.

When I’m in the middle of a drab period, the lack of laughter weakens me. It’s a good alarm for me to get my personal “waste” together and climb out of the hole I may have dug for myself. Good unstoppable laughter that brings one to tears is the best of all. All of your defenses are down, and you’re all speaking the same language—a sort of emotional Esperanto.

In these past few weeks, the need for humor could not be greater. The world is turned in ward in hopes of killing the parabolic rise of COVID-19. Isolation from friends and family and travel is already starting to cause social stress fractures. Just knowing I don’t have the freedom to travel at will is depressing. There’s no humor in it. Maybe that’s because there is none to find.

So one looks for another tool to use. Wisdom is one. Wisdom is hard to really define, but you feel it and know it when you see it. For me, it’s a goal to strive for and in the striving, a journey toward enlightenment. Wisdom can also equip one with a sense of serenity; knowing what can and cannot be done in a certain situation.

I know I’m higher that most on the risk factors chart for this virus, given my immunosuppressive disease. I understand that I have to take greater precautions than others. So I observe the warnings with a healthy attitude. I’m not always 100% successful, but I do find victory in the effort.

Maybe that’s self awareness, the first step to looking up and finding wisdom. It makes me smile and maybe see a little bit of humor in my growth. And to have gratitude for another day to garner wisdom and sow some laughter.

Puts Into Focus

April 2, 2020April 2, 2020 / Carla M. Burzyk / Leave a comment

In times like now, when the world is muddy, unclear and uncertain, the clarity of the heart and mind, those tools used for musing and thinking take a back seat to focussing on day-to-day “normal” tasks and events. Everything is out of kilter. I feel like a tennis ball: back and forth between highs and lows, good news and bad, and laughter and sympathy. The slightest bit of news I hear has me going up or down, depending on the message. I am thirsty for good news and defensive against the bad.

Today, the bad news for me is the increase of COVID-19 cases, the distress of friends and family who are usually upbeat, the closing of Austin, a city I’ve come to love because of its caring for community, and personal physical back pain.

Some of these, I can try to alleviate with meditation, conversation or prescription drugs. Others seem too scary to even try to think about. The “good” today is my preparation for and my anticipation of joining together with my group of adults for a theology/philosophical/bible/social justice discussion group; getting a shoe delivery, and donating to Conspirare, a singing chorale that presents beautiful music and is directed by a man who knows the deep need of people in crisis. And the stock market inched up little.

This good news works in concert with the bad. They don’t cancel other out, rather they show a unified picture of the world, warts and all. I liken it to setting the focus on a pair of binoculars. There are two lenses that have to work together in order to provide a unified picture. However, to achieve that view, one has to focus each lens separately. I like this analogy because it shows that both right and left lenses have to be considered before the whole comes into focus. Holding both sides as one for a clear focus. Maybe this is seeing in a non-dual perspective: the unified whole that’s been broken into several parts.

It takes effort to hold both and then to use them as one. And it can be subjective: one person’s focus may be another’s blur. Here’s to hard-earned clarity in being present and awake. And putting it all together in focus and in love.

Referring To

April 1, 2020April 1, 2020 / Carla M. Burzyk / 1 Comment

What? There could be myriad items on a referral list, assuming one might use such a list as a keepsake of conversation points. So much to talk about these days. These corona virus, lack of human empathy, warming planet, gender inequality, cruelty to animals, shortage of life supplies, failure of central leadership, social distancing, preservative-laden food, apathetical attitudes about truth, disdain of facts and science ridden days.

Pick one, any one and I’d wager that a few minutes’ discussion would raise the blood pressure of even the most serene and “awoke” person. I don’t consider myself close to membership in that group, but I do some pondering on occasion.

This morning while walking in the neighborhood with my family, I thought: “What if this is the end of days?” And I envisioned the world emptying itself of life, not with bang as a bookend to its beginning, but with a winnowing out, a slow recession back into the cosmic ectoplasm with not so much as a whimper.

Social distancing is the new rule: Stand at least ten feet away from other humans. Stay in your house. Wash your hands until and even after they crack. Don’t touch your face. Is this the beginning of a long goodbye?

Or is it a second chance for the world community to assess its behavior and start acting civil to one another? To realize how fragile our social and emotional infrastructure is and then go to great pains to protect it?

I lived in DC when the post 9/11 quarantine happened. The eerie absence of flying aircraft was unsettling. And no traffic on the streets, and empty shelves in stores. Hoarding food and medical supplies and arming up with guns for self-defense was the norm. As was xenophobic treatment of Muslims.

This time, though, it’s different. We can’t see the “enemy”. We’re waiting at home for a cataclysmic change in society. Anticipating the metaphorical asteroid to crash into the planet and to decimate it entirely. And the response of the vox populi is not united, as was the case in previous crises.

Some hoard, some hide, some disregard what’s happening, some freeze and are haunted by anxiety or worry. Strange times indeed. Lives will be lost, Social structures irretrievably changed. People groaning and pointing at the air in search of someone to blame.

I’ve taken myself physically out of the world at large, given my risk factors for the virus. But I also am vehemently present to my inner self. Hoping for guidance, inspiration and serenity. And contemplating how I can be better for my world community when this crisis goes off of the present’s referral list.