”His Good Graces”

June 30, 2020September 25, 2020 / Carla M. Burzyk / Leave a comment

Are there “bad” graces? I understand there are bad sides, temperaments, natures, but not graces. Grace is a beautiful word, in the singular or plural. I like to think of grace as an intensely wise and serene humility. A balanced equanimity that keeps one hovering in the middle; not too high above nor too far below the norm. Appreciating all for all’s sake, not for an ego’s hunger to be fed. When I hear the word “grace” I envisionBotticelli’s work: “Primavera”, and the Three Graces within it.

The three Graces are sisters, dancing together and named for Pleasure, Chastity and Beauty. When I visualize the Three Graces, I see women bathed in a surreal light, dancing in the arms of one another, clothed (barely) in diaphanous gowns. It’s a calming image for me and one that recalls Florence / Firenze and the first time I saw the work in the Uffizi. Breathtaking, beautiful, colorful and his good Graces dancing in the Springtime between Mars (March) blowing away the clouds of winter, and Venus (April) hearkening the light and rebirth of Spring.

I love seasonal change and feel most alive at the start of a new season. I love pondering the weather that it will bring and the changes that can or cannot be imagined. It’s challenging to see seasonal change in Texas. I’ve lived here for six years, but the subtlety of seasonal change here is is almost invisible.

The year kind of unfolds slowly and being outside doesn’t help determine if it’s Spring or Fall. Summer is easy: think three digit temperatures. There is no Winter. I have to work harder at figuring it out, if I was interested in figuring it out. I’m not.

I’d rather dance with the good Graces, without caring about anything more than dancing. Maybe this is graceful wisdom: to know that dancing is sometimes the only way to break the earthly bonds that tie us to too much detritus, and instead let us move with nature and our souls to experience a higher state of mind. Dancing with the Graces, moving to invisible music, watching the seasons proceed and proceed again.

gracwes

What You’re Hearing

May 19, 2020May 20, 2020 / Carla M. Burzyk / Leave a comment

“What you’re hearing is the raspy mating call of the male Kudu in must.” “What you’re hearing is another set of lies attacking the character of the Governor of Michigan.” “What you’re hearing is a live performance of Turandot from the Met.” “What you’re hearing is the sound of a foghorn calling ships into the harbour.” “What you’re hearing is the same noise your dog is hearing, albeit experienced very differently by the both of you.”

So many sounds to enhance the video tracks of our lives. When I was a kid we’d play a borderline macabre game where we’d ask each other if we were only able to have one sense, what would we choose? This was a hard one for me. I couldn’t decide how despondentI’d be if I had either no sight or no sound. Could I handle blindness easier than deafness? Sight was always edged our by hearing. It is a precious gift to me and is the ultimate defining sense of my life. I couldn’t comprehend giving up all the sounds of my treasured music. Or the angry crash of waves on the beach. Or the torrential rain pounding the roof during a midsummer Texas storm, or a dog’s cry of happiness, or my wife’s measured breathing in sleep, or a river’s gurgle during a snowstorm, or ice cracking or eggs frying, or the soft hum of the engine of a BMW, or a glass breaking.

Or all the myriad voices I’ve heard or had to listen to over the years, some transmitting comfort or fear, or warning, or pleasure. Or disapproval or disappointment. Or pain or ecstasy. Voices in unison or voices alone. Voices in conversation. Sometimes comprehended, sometimes just sound without meaning. Sounds of Silence. Make a Joyful Noise. Do You Hear What I Hear?

What you’re hearing is just what you need to hear.

The Prison of Self

April 10, 2020April 12, 2020 / Carla M. Burzyk / Leave a comment

The prison self is made of the strongest bars imaginable. Inescapable save for one key the only the self holds. For many, the self is unaware that it holds the key. The prison of the self can be figurative, theoretical, or real, even. But if you’re it in, it matters not.

Some prisons are depression or addiction: immense expanses whose borders are enormous, until you run into them hard. They hit you hard and repeatedly. Sometimes, unrelentlessly.

Other prisons are smaller, but no less imposing. Self-doubt, guilt, procrastination, or greed. These incarnations are a little more manageable, in that if you try with honest effort and tenacity, you can be free of them, either temporarily or permanently.

Another sort of prison and I’d say the most confining and intimidating is the loss of faith. This is an enigmatic confinement , because first, you don’t know that you’re imprisoned and aren’t moved to do anything to escape the confinement.

What’s the route to becoming aware of your lack of freedom and escaping to a greater sense of liberty? This question has been a seminal one for the greatest thinkers throughout the ages: Socrates, Jesus, Joan of Arc, Hildegard von Bingen, Gautama Buddha, Becket, Shakespeare, Dante, Rosetti, Browning, Yeats, Cather, Bonhoefffer, Rand, Ghandi, Mohammed, Thersa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, King, Churchill, Jordan. All came up with personal hypotheses and treatises that met with acceptance or rejection or worse.

The only way to escape this prison of doubting faith is to self fashion the key with materials consisting of mercy, grace, gratitude, acceptance and intent. Getting through the locks brings one to a place of tenuous serenity that lasts only as long as one keeps “awake”. Being awake is critical to survival in these days of isolation and uncertainty and fear and lack of leadership.

By escaping this intimidation prison of self, one can also fashion approaches to flee confinements and stay open to the graceful possibilities of the present. And to keep roaming freely in the great wide world of the physical and infinite expanses of the metaphysical. And to figure out, one day at a time, as Mary Oliver encourages us, what to do with this one wonderful wild life that we’re given. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Humor and Wisdom

April 9, 2020April 9, 2020 / Carla M. Burzyk / Leave a comment

You don’t now what you’ve till it’s gone…or, absence makes the heart grow fonder…or you never know what you had until it’s taken away. These adages are rooted in wisdom and experience. They’re especially true regarding humor. A sense, or gift or appreciation of humor is priceless. It relieves tension, breaks the ice and encourages participation in otherwise unequal social settings. Humor carries with it descriptive monikers like “dry wit”, ‘biting”, “generous” and “quick-witted”.

It’s a universal language for me and when I encounter people without a sense of it, I’m at a loss with respect to how to relate to them. A person without a sense of humor self-identifies as one with no appreciation for the sense of humor, and they paint themselves in drab colors and they back away from the center of social interactions.

When I’m in the middle of a drab period, the lack of laughter weakens me. It’s a good alarm for me to get my personal “waste” together and climb out of the hole I may have dug for myself. Good unstoppable laughter that brings one to tears is the best of all. All of your defenses are down, and you’re all speaking the same language—a sort of emotional Esperanto.

In these past few weeks, the need for humor could not be greater. The world is turned in ward in hopes of killing the parabolic rise of COVID-19. Isolation from friends and family and travel is already starting to cause social stress fractures. Just knowing I don’t have the freedom to travel at will is depressing. There’s no humor in it. Maybe that’s because there is none to find.

So one looks for another tool to use. Wisdom is one. Wisdom is hard to really define, but you feel it and know it when you see it. For me, it’s a goal to strive for and in the striving, a journey toward enlightenment. Wisdom can also equip one with a sense of serenity; knowing what can and cannot be done in a certain situation.

I know I’m higher that most on the risk factors chart for this virus, given my immunosuppressive disease. I understand that I have to take greater precautions than others. So I observe the warnings with a healthy attitude. I’m not always 100% successful, but I do find victory in the effort.

Maybe that’s self awareness, the first step to looking up and finding wisdom. It makes me smile and maybe see a little bit of humor in my growth. And to have gratitude for another day to garner wisdom and sow some laughter.